Learn to compel women you haven’t met to make the first move and approach you or get a woman to indicate that she wants you to approach her.
Some techniques lay a foundation to help you attract women, making a long term change in how you present yourself, interact with the world and attract women.. Such techniques include body language, fashion and style, being fit and healthy, and having a positive, open approach to life. Each of those make you more compelling, approachable or both.
So after you’ve incorporated those changes, you don’t have to consciously use any technique specifically, just live life, taking care of things, and these changes/techniques now work on autopilot.
To put the odds even more in your favor, live, work, learn and play where attractive women are, the kind of women you like.
So say you need to go grocery shopping.
Have you noticed how people (customers, employees, etc.) are friendlier at some stores, businesses and places than others. And some venues (hint: healthier) tend to attract the hottest women.
Find the places that check both those boxes, and go there to do the things you’re going to do anyway: shopping, working out, getting a coffee or drink, hanging out, studying, playing sports, walking your dog, whatever.
You need to show up open. Show up confident. Show up ready to enjoy yourself.
Make eye contact with the women you see.
It might not happen the first, second or third time you go there.. but if you make going/shopping/playing/whatever there a habit, it will happen: a woman will either approach you, or signal to you to approach her.
It’s happened to me at several different stores, restaurants, bars, clubs, events, college classes and even on the street.
Quick disclaimer so that you don’t think this happens every time I go out: It doesn’t. But it happens often enough that it’s very fun and worth figuring out. On the other hand, women will signal to me that it’s OK to approach them more than 2 out of 3 times I go out if I’m paying attention. Before I figured out the 20+ techniques you can read about on this blog and in my book, it didn’t happen. In fact, I got so used to being ignored and rejected that I believed I was unattractive and doomed to settle for less attractive women.
I was shopping in the bulk foods section of a grocery store when I noticed a beautiful, fit Indian girl looking around. She was so damn sexy, but my inner shy guy was in the driver’s seat, so I kept on shopping.
She caught me off guard when she came up to me and asked if I knew where the granola was.
I immediately felt that excitedness, that fear and anxiety, and didn’t remember exactly what to do. My inner shy guy was still in control. So I just told her where the granola was. She points and says right over there? Yep, I say.
I was so excited… there’s nothing else in the world like when a beautiful woman who you don’t know starts talking to you.
So in this case, I got the beautiful girl to approach, then screwed it up.
I should have stayed calm and said something teasing or challenging, like I’ve done other times, such as “is that your best pick up line?” when a tall, athletic woman approached me and asked me to tie the bow on the back of her dress. She replied, “yes. I found it on a website about top pick up lines to use on guys.” (She ended up buying me drinks, and giving me her phone number.)
I ran the girl-looking-for-granola scenario by a couple women.
They told me that she most likely was looking for more than just granola – so I dropped the ball on not finding out, not relaxing and having a playful interaction that could shed some light on her true intentions.
(I don’t usually drop the ball like that, but was having an off night.)
One of my female friends said “How hard is it to find granola? Obviously she wanted you to interact more than just pointing out where the damn granola was.”
Another woman friend said, if I want to find something in the store, I’ll ask someone who works there unless there’s a guy I find interesting.
In summary, to get women to make the first move, some techniques have a lasting effect and work on autopilot, such as improving your body language, so start working on those now.
Figure out where a favorable ratio of attractive women spend time.
Go to those places to do the things you’re going to do anyway, such as shopping, getting a cup of coffee, hanging out, etc.
Be open and make eye contact with every woman you see, confident, solid eye contact.
Pay attention, because she may signal you to approach her… and be prepared to stay calm if/when beautiful girls approach you.